


Mommy Issues

by Talinor



Series: The Dawn Will Come [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Backstory, Communication, Dragon Age Origins AU, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Opening Up, mild shallura
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-27 22:47:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10818342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talinor/pseuds/Talinor
Summary: He cast his eyes down upon the trodden dirt. "You don't..." He started. "trulythink I look as my mother does, do you?"He frowned at Lance's breathy laugh. "Have you really been thinking aboutthatall this time?" He could practically hear the smug smirk on the Warden's face."No," he lied, crossing his arms. "I was simply wondering."-A simple jest is taken the wrong way





	Mommy Issues

**Author's Note:**

> like 80% of my fics are just me trying to bust writer's block  
> this fic is no exception  
> sequels are planned for An Alternate Solution, but I ju wanted to write this lil prequel  
> enjoy!

Denerim, the capital city of Ferelden, was... very strange to Keith. He grew up to the open forests and untamable swamplands of the Wilds. It was always just him and Mother, save for a few poor saps Mother occasionally brought home. He quickly learned not to stick around the hut for the next few hours whenever Mother brought a 'visitor' home. The fools always wound up in the same place the day after- floating in the murky waters. The Wilds claimed them, as it did countless others.

But Denerim was nothing like the Wilds. Instead of the sounds of animals and insects, the air was filled with the calls of far-less-pleasant humans and the barking of mabari hounds. The Wilds were open and free. Denerim's tall stone walls with gates and guard patrols were the opposite.

How could someone, let alone so many, _stand_ living in such a place? The very thought of it made his skin crawl as Shiro slipped into one of the market's many shops. People he didn't care to know stared at him openly. 

At least, _most_ of the people staring at him were strangers. There was but one exception to that- Lance. The Warden had been staring at him with mild interest for the past few minutes. He could practically feel the scrutinizing gaze of those icy blue eyes on him, like another sense he didn't know he had before.

The thing that bothered him most was that he hadn't really done anything to deserve the stares he was getting. Keith had barely said anything during this little supply run trip. Was Lance just trying to find something to pick a fight with him about? Was he really that bored?

Finally, he decided to say something about it. "You know," he said, huffing out a sigh and looking at Lance. "You should be more careful about where your eyes linger, Lance. Someone may get the wrong idea."

That seemed to snap Lance out of it. He scoffed. "Don't flatter yourself," he rolled his eyes for unnecessary effect. "I was just staring at your nose."

Keith blinked. That wasn't what he was expecting, to be honest. He... wasn't sure how to respond to that. So he went with the easiest reply.

"Oh?" He leaned against the shop entrance's stone wall with crossed arms and a raised brow. "And what is it about my nose that _captivates_ you so?"

"Well, I was thinking..." Keith bit back the retort on the tip of his tongue. He really wanted to know the reason for Lance's strange fascination. Lance gave him a smug look. "It looks an _awful lot_ like your mother's."

On instinct, one of Keith's hands rushed to cover it up. He looked at it to the best of his ability in concern. He never noticed it before. But... did it really look the same as Mother's?

It was a ridiculous thing to worry about. He'd obviously share some things with his mother. But he couldn't help it- he didn't want to be linked to that wretched woman more than he had to.

He thought of her and remembered her ink-black grimoire filled with equally dark secrets. Including how she extended her unnatural lifespan by having a daughter, teaching her magic to make the process easier. When she grew up, and Flemeth's current body grew old and wizened, she'd inhabit her daughter's body and start the process all over again.

As far as Flemeth was concerned, she only had one 'daughter' at the moment.

None of which anyone else knew yet. He was still trying to determine how to approach the topic with Shiro.

Lance's laughter at his reaction shook him out of it.

Anger sparked in his chest. It was still a joke to Lance. But he wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing he got under Keith's skin either. So he quickly snuffed it out with a grumble.

"I hate you _so much."_

Lance simply smiled. A nonverbal mockery. "Likewise."

-

It was just a throwaway comment. A seemingly empty way to try and pick a fight with him. It shouldn't bother him at all, let alone as much as it still did.

And yet here he was, still dwelling on it. It was like a shadowy pest that snuck up and decided to sink it's claws into him. Even during the walk back to the camp, it wouldn't let go of him. Throughout 'dinner' around the campfire, while Lance and the others were making conversation and trading jokes, it was all Keith could think about.

Mother dearest had always been a standard for him. But she wasn't a shining example of what he wanted to become, oh no- the opposite was true. Her example was that of a festering blighted sore, something he never wanted to become. If he ever had a child of his own, he certainly wouldn't want to be the parent Flemeth was to him.

So being compared to her, even in the most insignificant way, burrowed deep into his psyche and hurt him more than he could've ever imagined.

It still stayed in his mind as supper came to a close. Hunk stood up and went around, collecting the stew bowls as gently as his rough stone hands could allow from the others. He stopped when he got to Keith. The yellow crystals jutting out of his rocky crevices flickered a little in concern. "Maker," he said, thankfully keeping his voice down so the others wouldn't hear. "Keith, are you alright? You've barely touched your food. Is something wrong? Did I over cook it, or-?"

Keith held up a silencing hand. The concern was touching, but he didn't need it. "Don't worry," he assured. "The food was..." He searched for the right word. "...Lovely, as usual. I'm just not hungry."

"Oh," he said. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head. "No need. I'm just tired."

Hunk, bless him, understood enough to let it alone after that. Which was a little bit surprising, considering how nosy the golem could be. But he must've known Keith well enough to know what he needed most right now was some time alone.

He set towards his little separate portion of the camp. His tent was set, his bedroll already rolled out for him. Flemeth's grimoire lay atop the thick leather. The old black cover almost seemed to mock him.

_This is the price you pay for looking where you shouldn't, child._ It sounded too much like Mother.

He didn't sleep. Didn't even try to. He knew his efforts would be fruitless, with Lance's unmeaningly piercing words bouncing around in his head. So instead he watched the evening transition to night, the sun slinking into the mountains to bury the sky in a star-crossed blanket.

The others filed off to their respective tents for the night until only one other person was left awake. It caused him to realize something.

Tonight was Lance's turn to keep watch. If any darkspawn or other hostiles showed up, it was his job to alert the camp. Nothing had happened to justify it yet, but it was better to be prepared for anything just in case. They couldn't afford to be sloppy in times like these.

It didn't look like anything would happen tonight. The night air was still, quiet save for the far-off cricket songs and the crackling of the barely surviving campfire. The moon cast it's silvery white light upon those below. Lance had his back to Keith, looking out beyond the camp and sitting on a nearby rock. The orange fiery glow reflected well on Lance's newly-polished veridium armor.

If he wanted to confront Lance, tonight was probably the best opportunity he'd get for a while. Not like he had anything better to do anyways.

That was all the convincing he needed to spur himself into heading towards the Warden. He noticed Lance tense slightly at his approach. His hand started to slowly creep towards his sword without even looking back to see who was behind him.

"Do not be alarmed," Keith told him, finally ending up at Lance's side. "'Tis only I."

Lance let out a sigh of relief and visibly relaxed at the sight of him. "Sorry," he said. "Watch duty always makes me a bit tense."

"Understandably," he said. A few moments passed between them. Light winds kissed them faintly, moving the tall grass the slightest bit. Keith was the one to break the tranquil silence. "...May I talk to you about something?"

Lance's honest expression didn't even try to hide it's surprise. Most of their 'talks' ended with threats of bodily harm and/or huffed breaths as they stormed away to cool off. "I..." He moved over on the rock to make the bare minimum of room for Keith to sit on. "Of course. What is it?"

Keith obliged and sat down. The metal plates of Lance's armor dug into his bare arm, but he didn't really mind. He'd fared far worse pain than a little discomfort. If anything, the discomfort was welcome.

He cast his eyes down upon the trodden dirt. "You don't..." He started. " _truly_ think I look as my mother does, do you?"

He frowned at Lance's breathy laugh. "Have you really been thinking about _that_ all this time?" He could practically hear the smug smirk on the Warden's face.

"No," he lied, crossing his arms. "I was simply wondering."

"Right." There it was again. The smug amused tone that annoyed him to no end. "Because you're not insecure in the slightest, I take it?"

Keith scoffed. "Of course not," he lied once again. "I just think I look _nothing_ like her."

"I don't know," Lance said. "Give it a couple hundred years," Keith's eye twitched. The grip on his own arms tightened. "and you'll be a spot-on mat-"

Something in him snapped.

_"I said I look nothing like her!"_ The shouted words left his mouth in complete disregard of their situation. Nearby bandits could have heard him, or maybe assassins sent by Regent Zarkon to wipe out the two remaining Grey Wardens in Ferelden.

The air between them grew tense and silent, the same thought probably running through Lance's mind. His widened eyes checked between the darkened horizon and the apostate who just had an outburst.

Thankfully, nothing came.

"Is everything alright out there?" Shiro's voice, tinged with sleep, sounded from Allura's tent.

Keith was quick to answer. "Yes, yes, we're fine," he assured. "It's nothing to worry about."

"Are you sure?" Allura's voice was tinged with cautious uncertainty.

This time, Lance answered. "Everything's clear out here, Allura." He said. "Just go back to sleep. You two need rest." Unclear mumbles were his only answer.

Keith cleared his throat and stood up. "Well," he said, eager to avoid the awkward situation he placed himself in. "I should probably-" He started to head back. 

The only thing that stopped him was a leather grip on his wrist. "Wait a moment," Lance said. "I need to say something first."

Keith sighed and looked back at him. "...I am listening."

"I'm sorry," he said, knocking Keith off-guard. He studied Lance's face. It... looked like he _meant_ it. "It was supposed to be in good fun. I didn't mean to strike a nerve there, but..." Lance looked at him earnestly. "Is your mother really that bad?"

Keith let out a bitter laugh. "You have no idea."

Lance shifted on the rock, allowing Keith more room to sit. "Enlighten me, then."

Keith cautiously did as he was told. Lance let go of him, and for a moment, he seriously considered running off to avoid this particular conversation.

But he didn't. He just sighed again and recalled the first story that came into his mind. Completely ignoring Lance's expression the entire time, of course.

"When I was a child, I rarely stayed at home," he started. "I explored the Wilds, usually magically disguised as an animal to avoid suspicion. One day, I ventured to the edge of the Wilds, by the nearest town. And a carriage passed by me on the road, with a noblewoman inside. She wore the most elaborate and beautiful jewelry I had ever seen and... I wanted it." As he described it, he could still see the memory clear as day in his mind. Lance didn't say anything, only gestured for him to continue.

"So I followed it as carefully as I could, and broke into it that night." He remembered how his heart beat like a hysterical drum that night. The thrill and danger of being caught excited him, like the 'game' Mother would let him play with templars looking for them lost in the Wilds. "I didn't find any jewelry, but I did find a golden mirror with embedded jewels and ornate patterns on the back. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen." Looking into it took his breath away. "So I grabbed it and raced back to the hut."

"Let me guess," Lance raised a brow. "Flemeth wasn't too happy about it."

Keith nodded. "Oh, definitely not." He said. "Flemeth was furious when I told her what I did. Risking my cover for some pretty bauble I didn't need."

"But you were a child," he said. "Children do dumb things like that."

"Even so," Keith continued. "Flemeth decided that I needed to be punished for what I did. So she slapped my face," Lance's brows raised at that. "took the mirror, and smashed it on the ground. I was heartbroken."

"Maker, Keith," Lance finally spoke after a moment. "I... I'm so-"

"Don't apologize," he said. "She was right. I was foolish and reckless."

"That doesn't _justify_ it."

"I know," Keith told him. "But all of my stories about Mother are of the same degree. And... I'm afraid that one day, I'm going to end up just like her." In more ways than one, but Lance didn't need to know that. 

Before Lance could respond, Keith stood up. "I should be getting to sleep," he said. "There's a long trek ahead of us tomorrow." He gave Lance a halfhearted smile. "Goodnight."

They... never really talked about that night after that.

**Author's Note:**

> comments are always appreciated!  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish


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